Thursday, January 23, 2014

Silly Horror Movie Monsters

The goriest and scariest movies released are often the most heard of. There’s a different side to the horror genre, however; one that’s not so serious or scary. There are some horror movies out there that feature zany baddies. You can hardly imagine the kind of monsters that Hollywood has dreamt up, unless of course you’ve seen the movies we’re talking about.

Photo credit: kregarious

Instead of droning on about all the scary monsters hiding under our beds and in our closets, we’re going to switch gears to talk about some of the silliest movie monsters of all time.
Let’s get started.

10. Terror Toons

This 2002 horror-comedy film features a couple of villains that come straight out of the TV. If you want to be more precise, they actually come from a DVD named Terror Toons. Supposedly created by the devil, this sadistic film brings its characters to life shortly after being watched.

The zany toons from the DVD, named Doctor Carnage and Max Assassin, enter our world and kill a small group of teens. If you’ve never seen this one before, you know it’s a ridiculously wild ride. It sure seems like the writers and producers were on drugs while putting this one together!

9. Jack Frost          
Jack Frost features a killer snowman of the same name who wreaks havoc on a town called Snowmonton. Yes, that is the name of the fictional town--pretty clever right?

Famous serial killer Jack Frost –where do they come up with these ingenious names-- is on his way to be executed. The transport vehicle carrying Frost crashes into a genetics truck. Unfortunately for Frost, neither vehicle was reinforced with high quality panels, so the collision results in a huge mess. The ‘genetic material’ fuses Frost’s body with the snow on the ground. He is eventually reanimated as a murderous snowman and then goes on a rampage.

Perhaps even crazier than a killer snowman, no one tries to melt him using a well-placed Molotov cocktail or flamethrower. Seriously, come on.

8. Killer Bunnies

A 1972 film named Night of the Lepus features killer bunnies that… well hop around and hurt a lot of people. In this picture, they are giant, mutated bunnies that love to eat flesh. However, we find it difficult to look at the furry guys as something dastardly.

7. Possessed Telephones

In 1988 an Italian movie called Dial: Help was released. It follows a psychic who is able to tap into the “energy” of a deceased operator through phone lines. A large number of scenes have to do with possessed telephones, which are able to constrict and kill. There’s no better horror script than one that takes inanimate objects and turns them into bloodthirsty, killing machines!

6. Uncle Sam

The 1997 low-budget film Uncle Sam is considered by few to be a cult classic. We think it’s silly. This campy horror sees a long-dead, Desert Storm vet donning an Uncle Sam mask and outfit to go on a killing spree.

It all starts on July 4th, when some unruly teenagers burn an American flag on top of his grave. Wait a minute; I’m kind of confused who the real sickos are after that description!

5. A Rubber Tire

This 2010 French horror-comedy follows a rubber tire named Robert through his obsession with a mysterious woman. His lust brings him into a small desert town, where he starts killing the inhabitants with his telepathic powers.

Because of how crazy it all sounds, we’re going to reiterate. Rubber is about a tire that kills people with special powers. Enough said.

4. Puppets

Over the years we’ve seen a lot of crazy objects come to life like dolls, statues and more. The puppets from the Puppet Master series are perhaps some of the silliest. These pint size figures can take on people at least four times their size. There are several different puppets, including one that has a tiny head – rightfully named Pinhead. All of the puppets take part in killing people, lots of people, and it’s stupid.

3. Killer Turkey

Thankskilling is a 2009 independent horror film with a killer turkey as its front-man. A cursed turkey runs around slaughtering college students during Thanksgiving break. It’s a pretty colorful movie, but the baddie is even more imaginative.
Gobble, gobble.

2. Monsturd

2003’s Monsturd is a perfect example of what not to do with a horror script. Evil killer Jack Schmidt has a mishap in the sewers that sees him doused in a strange chemical. To make a long story short, Schimdt turns into a giant, oozing piece of crap. See how inventive they were with the wordplay on that one: a turd named Jack Schmidt?

1. Gingerdead Man

The name alone should be enough to make you snicker, and when you couple it with the identity of his voice actor, Gary Busey, things get downright hysterical. Then again, Busey is pretty scary in real life.

This horror-comedy mash up features a killer gingerbread man. A crazed killer played by Busey is cremated after being executed in the electric chair for his horrific crimes. His mother, who just so happens to be a witch takes his ashes and mixes them into gingerbread spice mix. The mix is eventually used to make an oversized gingerbread man, and through odd circumstances he’s then reanimated. That is when the film really takes off, as a killer gingerbread man is loosed on the world goring everyone who stands in his way.

So the next time we complain about yet another zombie, vampire, or demon movie, maybe we should stop and think about how potentially terrible it can be when horror movies try to make new types of villains. 

Michael is a full-time blogger who has passions in all corners of the online world. In his down time he enjoys being outdoors, traveling, and blogging on everything from technology, to business, to marketing, and beyond. Follow him on Twitter or Google+.


Pat Hatt said...

I'll take zombies over killer gingerbread men any day

Jolie du Pre said...

You and me both!!!